Unschooling - So Far, So Good

Just one month ago, we reformatted our home school to an unschool. Gone are the math and grammar books, and a structure to rival boot camp. In their place are robotics and classics such as Gulliver's Travels. We're doing a unit study on Zombie Fire Ants with another home school family and we call it Tuesday School. How is it going? Not too bad.

When we first started this experiment, David had the idea that unschool was synonymous to self-indulgence, ie. doing whatever he wanted however he wanted to do it and whenever he felt like it. LOL, right? I've read some great blogs about unschooling and the wonderful things that kids with a working executive function are doing. This will not be the case with a boy who would be supremely content to play video games all day. For our unschool to work, it is necessary to build in parameters lest the entire day, week, month and life fritter away before our very eyes. There are limits on video games, limits on television, bedtimes and morning alarms. Without some structure and expectations, the possiblities for never moving past the 7th grade would be enormous. 

So, once again, how's it going? Not too bad. He has built 25 Lego NXT robots in the last 30 days. At this very moment, he is testing an electronic measuring tape. He measured a large box and is converting the metric measurements of the NXT to compare them to the standard measurements of our Stanley measuring tape. The only thing I've done was to google the conversion table and tell him that 1 inch equals 2.54 cm. He is testing the accuracy of the NXT measuring tape. Results? It's accurate.

The Lego NXT robotics kit has consumed most of his waking time. He is learning how to follow intricate construction instructions and programming basics. More than that, he has been learning frustration tolerance from an instructor and a methodology that I could never in a million years implement. There are a hundred things that can go wrong when building and programming a robot. When it doesn't work, he has to retrace his steps and look for the errors. When he was first starting, he made many errors and became quickly overwhelmed with frustration and anger. I would simply encourage him to go back through the steps and find what he had missed. In many cases, it was something simple and, once fixed, it worked. In the past, he allowed his frustration to overwhelm him and things ended up broken from being pounded on or bitten. This is a common ADHD response to frustration.

However, he is not been willing to take his frustration out on an item for which he worked so long and so hard to get and would be so hard to replace. Now, he takes a deep breath and begins to retrace his steps to find the error. He's learning to control his frustration, not let it control him. Without me! It's a beautiful win-win!!

In the beginning, I had to keep telling myself to relax and trust the process. And, in fact, we are still early in the process. The only thing he's been interested in is the NXT and, at times, I've allowed myself to be a bit too concerned about it. But, then, something like this will transpire and I know that I should just relax: we were reading an item together and a reference was made to the judicial, legislative and executive branches of government. Since we haven't had too much American history or political science, I wasn't sure what he knew about it and decided on an impromptu quiz.

"So, what is the judicial branch of the United States government?" I asked.

"The Supreme Court," he said.

"What is the legislative branch?"

"Uh, Congress?" he answered rather hesitantly.

"Very good, David! And, what is the executive branch?" I asked.

"The President!" he triumphantly replied.

"How do you know this?" I wondered.

"I don't know, Mom. I think it's because I watch the news with you and Dad."

So far, so good!

Cheers,

leapinlily

Two Weeks into Unschooling

It has been nearly two weeks since our official declaration of unschool. Two weeks ago I was a mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand, I was ready for a change and so was David. On the other hand, I was unsure of where we were going with unschooling. I've read much about it and am convinced of it philisophically. Yet, I found myself nervous and unsure of the decision that I was making.

What Works For One

This morning it occurred to me that my last post about unschooling might indicate a disdain for the more typical homeschool format involving structure and curriculum. For any that might be reading this blog and might think that is how I feel about home school as most of us know it, I would like to set the record straight.

My personal vantage point on children, school and life in general includes 4 children, 5 step children (only one legally at this time and forever more), a family home daycare, public school, homeschool, more than one marriage and a variety of disorders. I've been on both sides of a couple of fences and I've known a lot of children who were growing and learning in a variety of circumstances. Mine has not been a singular kind of experience. However, I will only speak of the children that I grew.

The First Day of Our New School

It is the first day of school. Or, rather, should I say unschool?

For the last several weeks, we have been on break. By the time our break came David and I were both completely fed up with our daily life together. For months, we have been struggling with our school at home. The tools of our school - goals and plans, math books and grammar programs, carrots and sticks - have not been working. We had given up on "meeting at the table" - our term for the daily 9 a.m. appointment at our kitchen table to begin our day of school. We were deadlocked in boredom and frustration and our homeschool was dead in the water.

What's the recurring word in that last statement? oh, yeah - DEAD!

Unschooling?

There's an idea brewing in my head. As I look over the journal that is my blog, I find a recurring theme of frustration and burnout. What has not been mentioned is the boredom that David is experiencing. What I have been doing with my school is not working any better than the public school that David left. Not only have I not lit a fire, I have not even been filling the bucket! (see my mission statement) I have been very busy these last few days devising a new plan. In the past our plan has been mapped out in a planner with a task list for each day. The new plan includes time frames, in half hour increments, for each subject matter. This is my plan to get the work done. Oh my... really??

Routine and structure are the enigmas of our life. It doesn't come naturally for us. I keep thinking that it is the way that we will accomplish what needs to be done but it just doesn't happen. It never has for me. Ever.

So, what if? What if we tried unschooling? What if Dad and I supported anything that David was interested in learning?

What if we actually asked him what he would like to learn?

What if the tv stayed off and video games were relegated to weekends? Now, mind you, there is a real issue with the tv staying off. I, for one, happen to like it on. I'm a listener. I work while it's on. David, on the other hand, is watcher. He cannot have the tv on and do something else at the same time – not even toast a bagel. Tv on = burned bagel. Turning off the tv is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt him but it will save the bagels.

I digress. What if the tv stayed off and video games were relegated to the weekends? I think, with time (only a little time, not a lot), that things would start to change. For both of us.

David worked for and finally purchased a Lego Mindstorm NXT robot kit. What if he was allowed TIME to completely investigate the NXT? What if he finished the story that he started writing six months ago and I helped him illustrate it and bind it into a real book? What if we listened to an audio book? What if he cooked at least once a week? What if he made an chef's apron to wear while he cooked our meal? What if we watched Planet Earth and other documentaries on DVD? What if we did a unit study with another home school family? What if we tossed the books for the next five months and really dived into hands on learning?

What if we learned and stayed sane and had fun - all at the same time?

I think I might be on to something...

Cheers,

leapinlily

Burnout Blues

Is it really true that only eight short weeks ago that I was filled with zeal and optimism for our home school year? All I can now say is that the bucket is empty and the fire is cold. A great curriculum is dead in the water with the exception of anything that doesn't involve me. I've gained more weight and David is still only halfway through the math course that we started last year. I'm tired, intensely irritable and ready to chase down the school bus.

I would so like to have a funny commentary about this situation. I tend to be a make the best of it sort of girl, cracking little jokes and spouting little witty quips. Really I am!

Yet, I can't one-liner myself out of this. I try to come up with a new plan (remember me? the plan your work and work your plan girl?) Solomon had me pegged when he said there's nothing new under the sun. My best plan has already been made. I just can't work it! I can't even bite the heads of Barbies. There are no Barbies in this house!

For weeks I've wallowed in this malaise, blaming it on this and that and the other thing. But, it's not this and that and the other thing.

It's me...

With the last of my energy and concern I google 'dealing with home school burnout' and come up with 82,400 results. I'm relieved to know that nearly 100% of home school parents experience burnout at least once in their home school career. And, yet, it's not home school that is burning me out. It's ADHD. His, and mine.

I can't know for sure if I would feel this way without ADD as a huge, profound factor. It is, in fact, the core issue of everything about our lives, good and bad. I think that I can assume that I would experience burnout without ADD as every commentary that I read about burnout doesn't say one blasted thing about ADD. And, right now, I would so like to have something hugely profound to say about that. But, there is nothing, nothing!! but irritation... frustration... and a desire to eat the entire plate of chocolate chunk cookies that David baked this afternoon. Maybe I should widen my vision to grasp that baking cookies can be just as important as math. As a matter of fact, I'm sure that Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relativity after eating chocolate chunk cookies.

Today I read several articles on home school burnout, while feasting on David's chocolate chunck cookies. Should I ever tackle the theory of relativity, I'll need more than cookies. I would synopsize what I've read except that I can't type and eat cookies at the same time so click here for a good one.

If all else fails and there are no Barbies, there's always DeNae.

To be continued...

Cheers,

leapinlily

Grand Rapids Got Talent!

Art Prize 2010 has been one of the best things to happen to Western Michigan in a long time. It was good news and good times in the midst of a state that has held the dubious honor of being at the top of the list for unemployment in the United States. Grand Rapids is the second largest city in the state and I have the pleasure of living a mere 20 minutes from its heart.

Mother Knows Best

They are the professionals but you are the expert.

About eight months ago, I wrote a post about changing David's medication. This is an update to that post. At that time, we were switching David to Methylin ER, a generic six-hour medication that was to deliver a level, longer acting effect and reduce the occurrence of rebound. It did, in fact, deliver a level, longer acting effect and reduced the occurrence of rebound. It was cheap and always in stock. It also produced a deleterious side effect that quickly escalated to alarming.

David began to have movement issues. I don't know how to describe it. He called it shifty. "I feel shifty," he would say. While seated he would half stand up and down, not just once or twice but over and over. To look at him, one would think his tail bone was itching and he was using the chair back to scratch it. While trying to settle down for sleep in his bed, his legs would move and move and move. He could not lie still.

I have a friend with a son who was treated for ADHD and ended up with Tourettes Syndrome as a result of medication. My cause for concern was huge. I researched Tourettes, Restless Leg Syndrome and tics. The shifty symptom had presented itself with the introduction of the Methylin ER. However, the picture was complicated by the fact that we had increased his dose of Paxil and Trazodone at the same time. It was extremely difficult to determine which factor might be responsible for the new side effect.

During the course of my Internet research, I came across a forum of ADHD medication users. The discussion centered on the difference between generic and brand Ritlin. For the most part, this group of people espoused the superiority of the brand Ritalin over the generic, with the brand delivering a much "cleaner" effect than the generic.

Highly intrigued, I took the question to the psychiatrist that is prescribing David's meds. The doctor said that there is no difference between the brand and the generic except the price. The active ingredient is the same. Next, I took the question to the pharmacist that dispenses David's meds. The pharmacist said that there is no difference between the two except the price. The active ingredient is the same. The question was now changing to who do I believe, the professionals or the people who actually use the medication?

The prescribing doctor and I kept David on the Methylin ER for another month. In the meantime, we also saw David's therapist and I posed the generic vs. brand question to her. Her response was immediate and sincere.

"Oh, yes, there is a big difference."

"You know this because of people that you personally know are using it?" I asked.

"Yes."

The next question was for David himself. I asked him that if he had to choose, would he choose shiftiness or rebound. His response was immediate.

Rebound

That was it for me. I decided that we had nothing to lose by making a change. At this point, the doc was suggesting yet another medication to treat the restless leg syndrome. I was determined that David was not going to take on a fourth medication, especially to treat a side effect! I put all my research together and formulated the plan.

First, he would switch to brand Ritalin in the dose that I had determined would be a pill splitting dose as so manu of the people on the forum people talked about this factor. We would go back to designer dosing and only use the short-acting brand Ritalin when he needed it, which is usually only mornings. Second, he would take the Paxil at night instead of the morning and we would dump the Trazodone all together.

Two meds, not four!

Within a month, the shiftiness had greatly diminished. I am happy to report that it is now completely gone. He is sleeping through the night without the Trazodone. David is less medicated and his situation is much improved.

Win-win

Years ago, my oldest daughter's speech development was delayed because of chronic ear infections. Initial testing determined a delay but not enough of one to qualify her for a speech therapist. Six months later, I sensed that she was going backwards in her speech development. I again asked for testing and she qualified for services. The speech therapist said this at our first appointment - "We are the professionals but you are the expert." I never forgot it.

We, the people, patients and parents, ultimately bear the final responsibility for our health and well being. Not the doctors. The doctor/patient relationship is a partnership and the balance of power belongs to the patient (and his parents.) The doctor is the employee and I am the employer. The doctor is the professional and I am the expert. The doctor can only do so much and the patient (and his parents) must do their part. Ulitimately, there is more to treatment than medication. But, that is for another post.

Cheers,

leapinlily

We're Baaack!!!

It has been six months since the last post. In the very first post of this blog, I spoke of the blog becoming another unfinished pile in my ADD life of piles. Yep. But, that's the beauty of a blog. Who is it for anyway? Why, the blog is for the blogger and that would be me. If the blogger gets bloggees (which rhymes with devotees and groupies), that's super! Hey, I have a bloggee! That would be my husband! It's all good!

This blog is about homeschooling an ADHD boy. More to the point, it's about an ADD mom homeschooling an ADHD boy. The good Lord help us. We got a late start because of a long September camping trip with a group of good friends. I am able to justify that one by reminding myself that teachers in the public schools take about that long to get their groove on, if not longer. The great thing about this year for us is that we have been fumbling and bumbling through this long enough to be just about ready to get our groove on as never before.

We sat down yesterday and fleshed out our schedule and our curriculum. Of course, I had done a lot of thinking about all of this prior to yesterday but I find that a good schedule requires some nitty gritty logistics and involving David in the process is imperative. We scheduled the week by day, assigned time values to each subject, worked in a nice lunch/recess break and determined policy about homework and snow days. Things that we have worked out in the past - the check list and our now familiar planners - moved right into place and are functional and operational instantaneously.

The curriculum is as follows:

• Bible studies and service
• Saxon math
• Hope College homeschool physics - 2 semesters
• Winston Grammar
• Piano lessons
• Penmanship - learn cursive to take better notes
• World History all year as a unit study
• Literature - The Yearling, poetry and journaling
• Independent reading
• Gymnastics and trampoline as a carrot for successful checklist completion
• Life skills ie. chores
• Electives - cooking and organizing our personal library, for starters
• Member of the local rock club

It's a fabulous plan! I will have him tested about halfway through the school year. At this point, I feel more relaxed and confident about what we're doing than I ever have. We've planned our work (ADHDers are great at planning) and now we just have to work our plan (ADHDers are great at blowing off the plan). The good Lord help us...

Cheers,

leapinlily