This is a repost - Cabin Fever

In the past, I thought it was the snow. We've had very little snow. So, it's February. I'm wising up this year and I'm not gonna fight it. See you under the blanket...

http://beyondwitsend.blogspot.com/2010/02/cabin-fever.html

Project Get A Grip - the Plan

I am at the crossroads of familiar frustration. Again. Piles of clothes, piles of paper, piles of stuff. Piles of uncorrected school work, no plan for homeschool, no plan for meals, no plan for work. Piles in my brain.

noplanplentyofpilesyadayadayada!

Is this ADHD? Is it life in the 21st century? Is it just me???

There are two directions at this crossroad. One is throw my hands up and continue the present course, mired in frustration. The other is to plant my feet and get a grip.

So begins "Project Get A Grip". It's what I say when friends ask me how I'm doing.

"What ya doin' these days?"

"Oh, you know, just trying to get a grip."

Over and over and over, I hear myself saying those words. You know it's bad when one of those friends says, "So, what's your problem?" 

Ouch

I think life in the 21st century has a lot of people struggling to keep up. ADHD compounds those problems. I also think that it's real important to keep a balanced viewpoint about it all. I tell David that ADHD is a big deal. It's tough. Yet, there are much worse things that we could be dealing with on all sorts of levels. The proper perspective is a balancing act and I try to stay on the side of optimism. I keep trying because practice makes progress. If I lose my optimism, I'll lose everything and then I'll just have to punch myself in the face! Absurd, right?

I don't know where this will go. To be honest, I'm not starting at square one with this. I've been working on things, learning strategies, brainstorming and implementing all along. However, it still hasn't come together to meet my satisfaction. It's all about those dang piles! This project is about bringing all the strands together to create a lifeline. I'm not looking for perfection. I AM looking to not lose the dang keys all the time!

Anyway! The project will begin with this: The Master Pile

Cheers,

leapinlily

Too Fast, Too Much, Too Loud

Can I have my rubber room now?

Plays piano too fast. Eats food too fast. Uses too much ketchup, syrup, salt, Parmesan cheese, you name it. Bursts in the door talking at the top of his lungs without finding out what he might be interrupting. The excesses of ADHD. I can hear him gulping down everything he drinks, gasping for air in between gulps or chews or whatever else is going on in his mouth as he tries to breathe at the same time.

Sometimes I think I will go mad. He doesn't have a clue. The body is moving faster than the brain. The body is moving in one direction and the brain is going in the other.

Oprah talks about mindful living, identified as deliberate and thoughtful execution of whatever one may be doing. This admonition is not qualified by disorder or a lack thereof. She's speaking to people in general, not to ADHDers in particular. The ADHDer is equipped with a compromised executive function. The ADHD child can't even begin to wrap his head around mindful living. The ADHD executive function can be improved with medication but only to a point. Teaching mindful living to the ADHD child rests with the coach.

 
There are many types of coaches. There are football coaches, Olympic coaches, executive coaches, career coaches and the list goes on. An ADHD child will benefit from a life coach.

That would be me.

 
A fundamental difference between the other types of coaches and a parent coach is that the parent coach is coaching ALL! THE! TIME!! It doesn't end. The limits of my patience are tested from morning to night, sometimes in the middle of the night, day in and day out. In all of this, I must not lose sight of the limits of David's executive function. If I can keep that in mind - a disability perspective - then I can handle it.

But, I have more duties, responsibilities and, yes, desires, than teaching and coaching my son. I, too, have limits. Life in the 21st century is stretched to the limits. When it all becomes more than I can handle, I have found that honesty works. I don't try to be something that I can't be, like, uh, superhuman. There are times when my needs supersede his. I tell David what I need. I need quiet, I need a moment, I need a room with a closed door. If I can tell him what I need without exasperation, irritation and annoyance or the big whammo, anger, it's as good as it gets. I don't wig out. He learns consideration for other people.

Win-win.

BUT! If all else fails and there HAS to be a loser, let it be the Barbies!

Best regards,

leapinlily

Wordless Wednesday